One pig says
to another : Are are tum mujhe kyu kha rahe ho,
Jante nahi pork khane se swine** flu ho jata hai. |
|
Father
to Son: Do u know what higher studies will make u?
Son to Father: Yes
Father to Son: Good. tell me
Son to Father: An educated unemployed person |
|
Ek pathan
Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha
rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya
???”
Pathan hairat se… “Poora cycle mar deya abhi break mar
kar kya faida.” |
|
Pig: papa
papa hum latrine kyu khate hai??????
Pigs father: beta khana khate waqt gandi bateyn nahi
kartey.. |
|
Bhikari:
amma bhuk lagi khana do na....
Laddy: ye lo baba....
Bhikari: amma thoda jyada de na aaj mere ghar pe mehman
aaye hai... |
|
Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of
drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite? Man: My wife. |
|
Law
Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance
for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law! |
|
Do Dost
jangle me letarine kay liya bethe thy. To acchanak
samanese ak sheer aaya to badhaay ne chote se poocha
chotoo tu dergaya kya?
chotoo bola nahi to !! fir badhay ne kaha " to fir aapne
dho na meri Q dho raha hay". |
|
Sardar: I
hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Why didn't u exchange?
Sardar: Oye! There was nobody to exchnge in the lower
berth |
|
Doctor to
Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi
hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo
pee rahi hai.... |
|
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate
me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now
and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another,
you're the Principal!" |
|
SEX is not just like NOKIA- Connecting people
It is also not like NIKE - just do it
It is not like PEPSI - yeh dil maange more!!
But like PAN PARAG - EK SE MERA KYA HOGA????!!!
|
|
Sholey movie main JAYA udas - udas kyo rehti thi??
Kyonki ..." THAKUR" ke dono haath nahi the aur JAYA
ko hi "THAKUR" ki G**D dho ni pad ti thi! |
|
Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat
suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside.
Raabert is worried !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN
aur doosre me OUT likh do . Ek hole se paani ander
aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega ! |
|
Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar
raha hai.
Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein
usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes Boss.
Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,
tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai ...... |
|
KAUN BANEGA CROREPATY
AMITABJI: Is india the largest country YES/NO
SARDARJI:SNOW |
|
|
A dying man said to his wife:"Dear, Our 4th son always
looked different. Did he had different father?"
Wife:"Yes." Husband:"Who is it ?" Wife:"You." |
|
|
A Sardarji at Railway Booking Window, handed over the
filled up Reservation form to a Lady Booking officer.
The lady asked to mention Sex. Sardarji handed over the
form with “7 times a week”. The lady felt shy and asked
to mention “M for Male” or “F for Female”. Sardarji gave
back form to her. The lady after looking at the form
left the window with great. The co-booking officer
visited and checked the form with what was wrong in
that. He found in the Sex Column “5 times M” and “2
times F”. |
|
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery
with the remains of her CAT(pussy). As she boarded the
bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him
and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in
common. |
|
ek neta ne kaha aapka vote bahuta kimti hai.
hame mat dan karana
magar apne kiya ab bhogto |
|
|
A dying man sez to his wife: our 4th son always looked
different. Did he had different father? Wife: yes.
Husband: Who?. Wife: You. |
|
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end & a fool at the other.
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
|
|
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow
Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a
horse!" |
|
A judge looked severely at the defendant and asked, "How
many times
have you been imprisoned?"
"Nine, your Honour""
"Nine? In this case, I will give you the maximum
sentence".
"Maximum sentence?" said the defendant. "Don't you give
your regular clients
a discount". |
|
Q :What is the similarity between lady and a chewing
Gum?
A : Both are sweet and tight in the beginning, but
become tasteless and shapeless later..!!!! |
|
A doctor and his
wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and
stormed off to
work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and
phoned home. After many
rings, his wife picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion." |
|
A teacher asked a sardar to use a word 4 times in a
sentence,
sarder answered, if lara datta marries brian lara,
then she will become lara lara |
|
Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood
group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee
rahi hai.... |
|
EK tha Raja,
EK thi Rani,
Dono mar gaye,Khatam kahani....
Neche Kya DEAD BODIES dhund rahe ho??
Bola na Khatam Kahani.... |
|
|
Dekha Mera SMS ka kamal? Ghanti baji, bandarni ne cell
uthaya, ab chupke se bandarni SMS pad rahi hai, ab apna
sar khujake sochegi ki ye SMS kisko bheju.....???? |
|
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his
Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you
successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle
East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales
pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a
problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to
convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert
sand... totally exhausted and panting.
Second, the man is drinking our Cola and
Third, our an is now totally refreshed. Then these
posters were pasted all over the place"
That should have worked," said the friend. The salesman
replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also
didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left |
|
|
Do pagal rat me bhatak rahe the. pahela pagal asman ki
aur torch lagake kehata hai,is torch ke light ko pakad
kar tum asman me chale jana. tabhi doosra pagal kehata
hai, mere uper jane ke bad agar tumne torch bad kar diya
to? |
|
|
Laloo: 2 his P.A.: Itne khilari kyun football ko laat
mar rahe hai? P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye. Laloo: Susra,
Ball to pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge |
|
Woman: Sir , mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Iskaa naam Peter rakh do!
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai , jo iskaa twin hai.
Mein uskaa naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Uskaa naam Repeter |
|
Santa and Banta meet on the road. Santa has plaster on
his hand and leg, his eyes were blue and bulging. Banta
asked " Ye kya hia Santa?" Santa : Logone meri peetai
kee. Banta : Kyon?
Santa : Kal main bus stop per khada tha. Bheed bahut
thee. Mere aage ek ladaki thi. Mere jeb se kuch currency
note gire. Main use uthane neeche zook gaya to mere uper
wale jeb se mera photo us ladki ke pair per gira. Maine
use request kiya -
Madam aap ki saree uthayiye mujhe photo lena hai. Aur
lgone meri jamkar peetai kee |
|
|
there was a o man he was new in the city he saw two t
men fighting it was 12:am the t men asked to the o man
is that sun or moon the o man said that i am new in the
city |
|
What do snakes do after they fight?
They hiss and make up. |
|
The police car, siren blaring, raced in front of a
speeding car and forced it to stop.
A heavily built policeman got out and walked over.
You name, please?. asked the policeman, taking out his
notebook and pen.
It is Horatio Xerxes Laertes Idomeneus Aeneas Asclepius
Iphicles Menoeceus Memnon Philoctetes Tyndareus Hylas.
The policeman thought for a moment, then looked at his
notebook, shook his head and said:I will just give you a
warning this time . Don't break the speed limit again. |
|
Sardarni : kal rat 1 chor aya aur mere sath sex karke
chala gaya.
Sardar : tune usko roka nahi ?
Sardarni : Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aunga. |
|
Young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said,
"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great
Depression. I was down to my last nickel."
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire
day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I
sold the apple for ten cents."
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two
apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold
them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system
for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a
fortune of $1.37."
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million
dollars." |
|
Sardar(to his friend): my wife is afraid of water.
friend: how can u say that?
sardar: yesterday when i reached my home i found her in
the bath tub with our security guard....... |
|
Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara
character thik ho jaaega.....
Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya hoga....???
|
|
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel
and pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake |
|
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read
yet! |
|
Student: The brain is a wonder full thing
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up
in the morning and never stops until you get asked a
question in class! |
|
Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math! |
