A Santa prays daily for 2 hours, "He Wahe
Guru ji meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Wahe Guru ji angrily appeared & said, "Khoti de puttar 1
vari ticket to le le" |
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Santa & Banta ko 2 bomb mile.
Santa: chal police ko de k aate hain.
Banta: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
Santa: Jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha |
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Santa and Banta two are good friends met
after 14 yrs.
Santa : how are you?
Banta : fine and you.
Santa : ok and tell me how may children's you have?
Banta : 2 and what about you?
Santa : i have 14 children's.
Banta : what the hell you did, y like that, do u have any sense of what
u did?
Santa : replied, at the time of marriage my in-laws told "should not
keep my daughter with EMPTY stomach a single day". so I'm trying my
level best to full her stomach.
Banta : hmmm |
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Santa rape karan di koshish karda hai.
Kudi: Tere rape karan to pehla mein mar javangi.
Santa: Aho mar jayin par kise garib de kam na aayin. |
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Early one morning, a
mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to
school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why
you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers
hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now
and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I should go to school." "Well,
for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
|
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Master to Banta: Hath
vich kinian Ungla hundian ne?
Banta: Ji 6
Master: Oye Murkha, tenu kini vari keha k
Kachche ch hath pa k Unglan na ginya kar
|
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Santa rape karan
di koshish karda hai. Kudi: Tere rape karan to pehla mein mar javangi.
Santa: Aho mar
jayin par kise garib de kam na aayin
|
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Santa di saali:
Jijaji 500 Rs
deo agley haftey
dawangi.
Santa: Tu 1500
le, magar hune
ge
|
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Santa: Yaar
tujhe bus mein
thapad kyun
pada?
Banta: Pata
nahin yaar, meri
photo neeche gir
gayee thi, maine
kaha behen ji
zara saadi upar
karna photo leni
hai
|
|
Banta
walked
up to a
girl at
the bar
n said:
Can I
buy u a
drink?
Girl: Do
u like
sex?
Banta:
Of
course.
Girl: Do
u like
to
travel?
Banta:
Yeah, I
luv to
travel.
Girl:
Then
fuck off
|
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A female Press
Reporter slaps Santa. Banta standing near asks Santa: Y did she slap u?
Santa:
On her T-shirt was written 'Press', so I just pressed…
|
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Santa was asked to give a talk on Sex
He walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone & said: Ladies n Gentlemen, it gives me gr8 pleasure...
And sat back down
|
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Teacher: What do you call a man that doesn't use contraceptives ?
Pappu: Daddy.
|
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Banta to his wife, Preeto: Dear, you are the best woman in the world.
Yesterday I got convinced of this once again.
|
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Santa standing in balcony without shirt.
Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.
Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni bharjai di dekh.
|
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| A man is doing push ups on the beach, Santa sees him and starts laughing loudly and says, "Sorry to tell you but the women below you has already left."
|
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Doctor: U look terribly weak & exhausted! Are u having ur meals three times a day as I advised?
Preeto: Doctor, I thought u said three males a day. 9
|
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Santa: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to cross your mind?
Wife: That you are a homosexual.
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Pappu: Papa, aap papa kaise bane?
Santa: Oye puttar, pa pa key!
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Three men discussing wives. 1st says my wife is very cold. 2nd says mine is very hot.
Santa: I'm confused. I think she is cold but people say she's hot.
|
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Jeeto: Kal ek aadmi aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya.
Santa: Tumne use roka nahi?
Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.
|
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Santa: What food
u feed ur new born baby?
Beautiful Young Mom: Breast milk &
orange juice.
Santa: Oye, Which side is orange juice?
|
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| Santa after interview:
Everything went fine till the time he asked me
for my testimonials. I guess I showed him the
wrong thing!
|
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Boss during Interview for Post of
Secretary asked: What's the Difference between a Paperclip & a
Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I've never been Paperclipped !
|
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| Jewellery shop mein Santa ki zabardast
pitaayi ho gai. Y ? Sanata ne sales-girl se kaha: Aapki ek ek
item gazab ki hai. Sone ka kya rate lengi.
|
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A little kid walks into a city bus and sits
right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my
mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If
my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little
elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and
yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a
prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!" |
