| A
lady walks into her doctors office screaming. She yells, "Doctor, Doctor
my breasts are hairy! What do I do?" The doctor asks, "Well, how long
does the hair grow?" The lady replies, "From here to my penis, but
that's a different story!" |
|
| Woman has man in it; Mrs. has Mir in it; Female
has male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; No wonder men
always want to be inside women! |
|
Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful
life?
Because, women don't have a wife. |
|
Maths & Women are the two most complicated
things in this world...
But maths at least has some logic! |
|
Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now? |
|
After robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see
me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u! |
|
| It's a fact: A girl may not help u to get lot of
salary but... salary may help u to get lot of girls. So, love your work
not girls! |
|
A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat
reluctant to allow his wife to drove his prize possession...even to the
grocery store which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed,
"Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age!"
|
|
| Wife's definition of retirement: Twice as much
husband on half as much pay. |
|
| Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls.
These are the world's largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the
waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing can't b
heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear
the Niagra Falls?? |
|
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman &
said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him & said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
|
|
Doctor: You look terribly weak and exhausted!
Are you having your meals three times a day as I advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day. |
|
Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up
the pressure. |
|
What's the difference between good & bad gals?
A: Good gals loosen a few buttons when it's hot, bad gals make it hot by
loosening a few buttons! |
|
| In a survey, 80 percent of women thought their
ass was too fat, 15 percent said their ass was too thin and the other
five per cent said they didn't care - they would have married him
anyway. |
|
| There was this guy who told his woman that he
loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married
and now he is going thru hell. |
|
Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! |
|
What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so. |
|
Santa: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means ... Without Information Fighting Evrytime !
Banta it is Worries Invited for Ever and also Wonderful Instrument For
Ever
Jeeto: It could also mean - With Idiot For Ever. |
|
Define contraceptive pill?
It’s the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid
pregnancy. |
|
| 70 ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping
& the rest is '69'. |
|
| This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the
slogan: We stare because we care! |
|
What is Female Viagra
Answer : Jewellery. |
|
| A Lady calls the Police department and says: I
have a Sex Maniac in my apartment. Pick him up in the morning!
|
|
| Advice of a dentist: Treat your girl friend like
a toothbrush. Dont let anybody else use it and get a new one every 3
months! |
|
What is common between a girl's legs n Amul
butter?
Both are delicious when spread. |
|
Doctor: Ur knees all blistered?
Lady: Coz of doggy style!
Doctor: Cant u do it any other style?
Lady: Oh, I can, but the dog can't! |
|
| A doctor saw a nurse with one of her boobs
hanging out of dress. He questioned her, Nurse said, "Oh these medical
students never keep things in place after use!" |
|
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should
be 6 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Mam, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury. |
|
| Rich women are getting nose jobs, boob jobs, eye
jobs -- everything but actual jobs. |
|
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I
might be a nymphomaniac."
He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars
an hour."
She says, "How much for all night?" |
|
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
Ten minutes of peace and quiet |
|
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the
pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait till someone comes to buy
it? |
|
Good girl: It's hard to be good.
Bad girl: Yes. If it's not hard, it isn't any good. |
|
What's common between the Sun & women's
underwear?
1) Both are hot
2) Both look better while going down
3) Both disappear by night |
|
What's the similarity between a lady and a
chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet and tight in the beginning but become tasteless and
shapeless later. |
|
Why do Girls wear a tight skirt?
A: To keep here legs closed. |
|
What is the difference between a woman and a
magnet?
A: Magnets have a positive side! |
|
A gal tells her Doctor: I've got a bad
discharge.
He fingers her & says how’s it feel?
Gal: Very nice, but the discharge is in my ear. |
|
A woman with 14 children, ranging in age from
1-14, went to court to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of
desertion.
"When did he leave you?" the judge asked.
"Thirteen years ago," the tired mother replied.
The judge was confused. "Well, if he left thirteen years ago, where did
all these children come from?"
"Well," said the woman, "he kept coming back to say he was sorry."
|
|
What is the definition of a Lesbian?
Yet another Damm Woman trying to do a Man's job!! |
|
| Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity -
don't screw the opportunity! |
|
| Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex
with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who
does. |
